Gold Medals, and the like

I have to admit, I really don't care about the Summer Olympics.

The big story is if Michael Phelps can get eight gold medals; and people are saying if he does that may be the biggest achievement in sports ever. First, swimming is not a sport, it is an athletic event. The difference is that if one can make the other actively lose, it’s a sport; otherwise, it’s an athletic event. Second, it isn’t even the greatest Olympic accomplishment ever, the Dream Team was more dominant than Phelps, Aleksandr Karelin’s dominance in Greco-roman wrestling was greater, boxing is replete with wars that were/are much more engaging than this.

I also could care less about the Redeem Team. I think it is neat that some NBA players decided that they could be just unselfish enough to represent the Red, White, and Blue; and that they’ll kick ass. However; I just can’t get into the world’s best pound on the masses. If they win, yeah, the expectations are met, but that’s all…. no great victory, just met expectations.

I care not for gymnastics. Again, great athletes, but not a sport. Plus it’s participants look like emaciated pre-pubescent girls, and overly muscular effete guys. Track and field is much the same, but the female participants look like butch badasses. And, no matter how fast those 100M guys go, I can beat them with my truck.

I have particular distaste for rowing. An exercise should not be an Olympic event, even if it is the sport of the Ivy Leagues. Ditto for weightlifting, if I wanted to see a strongman competition, I could watch ESPN2 late night.

I think I were to watch the Olympics I would watch judo, wrestling, and boxing because, well, I like violence. I would watch women’s beach volleyball, because they prance around in bikinis that appear to be a size too small. I might BMX cycling on the odd chance that one of those dumb bastards might wreck, real bad like.

Until the Olympics is over, I suppose I’ll be regulated to renting movies and watching re-run of Law and Order on TNT.

In 2010 I’ll watch the winter Olympics as there is nothing better than Olympic Hockey. Well College football is, but it happens every fall.

Peace out,

B